Sometimes I'll meet a client who'll blur the lines between escorting and conventionalism. He'll make me forget I'm being paid for my time. I'll feel comfortable enough around him to where I'll want to loosen my boundaries, and shut off my "spidey senses". As I'll feel a sense of safety and understanding. He'll make me feel so special that I'll crave his company. And as much as I crave this type of encounter, and as exciting as it is when I meet such a special man ( which doesn't happen often), it's in these instances that I"ll question myself, my purpose, and my professionalism. It causes me great conflict. Since I've told myself that I don't want a conventional relationship, and that always remaining professional and maintaining boundaries, are important to me.... My past experiences also remind me if I do let down my guard, or relax my boudaries, I'll only have regrets later...........
Life experiences and years of escorting have taught me to be suspect of everyone.That most people have an agenda and more often than not, people are out for themselves....So to protect myself, I've learned to hone the skills of reading body language and to listen to voice inflections, etc, to decipher a person's sincerity and their true intent..... Clearly, I've still some honing to do, as I've misread a few, as past experiences will attest....I've misread the good intentioned as having an agenda, and missed the signs some with agendas had shown. But in fairness to my skill, there are also great manipulators out there who've also honed their skill. I'm always on the lookout for them.....
In the future I think for my peace of mind, I'll have to remain steadfast with my boundaries, and if I meet another gent as special as one I"ve met recently, I'll have to make it clear that I can't mix personal feelings with business engagements, as much as I may want to. I have to keep business as business.....