17 Jul, 2024

I love twitter. On days that I'm home and when I have no planned dates, or other responsibilities to attend to , I'll tweet for an hour or two, sometimes longer. It's fun, and interesting. I always find lots to tweet about and many things to retweet. I try to promote any ladies following me by retweeting their ads,  and I try to bring awareness to some rescue orgs that I follow or come upon. There is so much on there, so much to tweet. Politics, cooking, news, restaurants, movies, music, fashion, travel, makeup, how to tips of every kind, dogs, and more dogs, lol. Sometimes I also tweet to make a point....

Yesterday I made this tweet:

People say: "Don't post that pic, you look fat". Don't show more pics in that outfit, you've worn it before"."I liked your other name better". "you post to much to often"."you shouldn't put that in your blog"."you show to much in your pics"  Me: "(insert emoji with open mouth)" .... People say: "why are you so negative".

My tweet was an attempt to point out that when anyone criticizes a person for being negative, yet the person being criticized endlessly receives or experiences negativity. To then expect them to remain and act positively, is a bit daunting and unfair. It's also never constructive to tell someone to not do things we ourselves might be doing. Or to change, when we might need to make the same changes. If we're going to give anyone advice or make comments, we want positive feedback from, we should make sure the advice or comments don't come across as criticism. We should also exemplify the behavior we expect of other people.  

I found it rather poignant that another woman had also tweeted in the same moments, about receiving unsolicited advice. She had recieved some unsolicited advice from another provider about the content of one of her posts. The post was a picture of a tractor store. The person giving the advice felt that picture might mar the image of the high end brand this other woman had. The woman that recieved the advice, and I, then had a discussion. In which I suggested to her, that people should only give advice to those they're very close to and with whom they have developed trust with. If not, it's intent could be misconstrued. The woman replied to me that any unsolicited advice is never a good idea and that advice coming from a base of arrogance is never worthy. To which I then had a light bulb moment, and agreed.....How interesting that her tweets related so much to my tweet about receiving a lot of negativity. It became even more clear to me that when any of us, even with good intentions, tells another person they should change something about themselves, or that we should do something different, we're not being helpful, nor kind. It is unconstructive and arrogant. Especially when the person giving the advice also needs to make the same changes, or exhibits the same behavior they suggest needs changing. Advice of any kind can be a slippery slope and can be taken as criticism. How we deliver it, to whom we give it, and what that person is used to hearing, all needs to be taken into account, before doing so. We should think, are we really giving advice, or are we really just criticizing, and am I qualified or justified to give either. If so, we should bear in mind, even when it's given with integrity, by a trustworthy person, and delivered properly, it can still be misconstrued and it's intent questioned. 

So if you want my advice, lol, you'll have to ask for it......